GLOSSARY PAGES A-M | GLOSSARY PAGES N-Z

GLOSSARY.

Depression.

Symptoms of depression are:

·        Feelings of emptiness

·         Deep sadness.

·         Misery.

·         Loss of hope.

·         Slowing down of physical movement and lack of physical energy.

·        Body can be slumped, shoulders down and head bent down towards floor, with lack of eye contact. 

·        Have a loss of interest and ambition.

·         Could have suicidal thoughts in deep depression.

·         Fatigue.

·         Difficulty concentrating.

·         Difficulty sleeping.

·         Headaches.

·         Muscle tension and pain. 

·        Loss of appetite.

·         Loss of libido.

·         Loss of pleasure in normal activities relating to the physical, emotional and cognitive energy.

·         Weight loss or gain.

·         Excess feelings of guilt.

·         Drop in self-esteem and self-confidence, unworthiness, self-blame and self-depreciation.

Depression is believed to be an imbalance in naturally occurring chemicals, serotonin and norepinephrine in the brain and body associated with the mood in the brain and the regulating and reducing of pain in the body. Depression happens when these chemical messages aren’t delivered correctly between the brain cells, disrupting communication by the neurons and chemicals called neurotransmitters. It has emotional and physical (painful) symptoms.  It tends to affect twice as many women as men, but men are four times likely to kill themselves through it, men are also likely first to turn to alcohol or drugs to take their mind off it, before seeking help.  It can be triggered by illness like a stroke, heart attack, cancer, and Parkinson disease, hormonal disorders where people’s lifestyles have changed and they are having a problem adjusting to this change.  It can also be triggered by a stressful or traumatic event.  Depression can be diagnosed after 2 weeks or more if certain physical and mental symptoms are present. Depression is when loss is perceived to already have occurred, e.g. we are bereaved, we have lost our job, we are going to lose our house as in debt etc.  With these feelings we sink deep, into a black void of pain, where no hope is seen.

What is self-concept?

Self-concept or self-identity is our mental and conceptual awareness of whom we think we are and how it affects our behaviour.  It is a cluster of ideas and attitudes we have about our awareness at any given time.  These can come from early experiences of the child from significant people around them e.g. parents, carers, grandparents, nursery staff, friends, siblings, teachers, the environment etc.  These affect what we become and our self-esteem in the future.  As far as they know we are not born with self-concept, it gradually emerges in the early months of life and is shaped and reshaped through repeated perceived experiences. 

I have broken low self-concept and high self-concept into two headings and listed signs for both: -

Low self-concept.

• Unhappy.
• Anxious.
• Insecure.
• Self-critical.
• Problems building up positive relationships with others.
• Shy and try to avoid others.
• May brag to increase self-esteem.
• May show off to make self-likeable.
• Stressful.
• Self-doubting.
• Feels inadequate.
• Low self-esteem.
• ‘I can not ….’
• ‘I am not…..’

High self-concept.

• Positive.
• Realistic self-concepts.
• Happy.
• Friendly.
• Self-reliant.
• Self-confident.
• Accept own strength and weaknesses.
• Tolerate criticism.
• Good self-esteem.
• ‘I can ….’
• ‘I am ….’
• ‘I will…..’
• ‘I have….’
•  

These are the things that affect self-concept and self-esteem.

• Heredity.
• Maturation.
• Perceptual field.
• Environment.
• Beliefs.
• Values.
• Attitudes.
• Morals.

What is self-esteem?

Self-esteem is the affective dimension of the self and is the extent to which we value ourselves.  Out of the awareness of ourselves (self-concept) grows and develops the ideas or concepts of the kind of person we see ourselves as less adequate, then we like to believe this and have a low self-esteem.  Self-esteem refers to the extent that we value and accept ourselves.  It can be measured by the way you act and behave to see how you feel and think about yourself.  It is like an internal belief system from the experiences of life and is made up of learned feelings.

These are the things that affect self-concept and self-esteem.

• Heredity.
• Maturation.
• Perceptual field.
• Environment.
• Beliefs.
• Values.
• Attitudes.
• Morals.

I have split up low self-esteem and high self-esteem into two headings to show the characteristics of both.

Low self-esteem.

• Not worthy.
• Not capable.
• Do not deserve it.
• Lack of confidence.
• Lack of stability in friendships and relationships.
• Poor performance.
• Put self down.
• Low achievement.
• Blame themselves.
• Depression.
• Unhappiness.
• Insecurity.
• Others desires put before your own. Inner criticism
• Nagging disapproval from inside you.
• Let things beat you.
• Negative messages and thoughts.
• Take life too seriously.
• Try to live up to others or try to become them.
• Very harsh on yourself.
• Anxiety.
• Stress.
• Loneliness.
• Can affect academic and job performance.
• Vulnerability to drug and alcohol abuse.
• They belittle their own accomplishments.

High self-esteem.

• Have inner peace.
• Harmony and balance.
• Responsibility.
• Acceptance of strengths and weaknesses.
• Accept and respect yourself.
• Accept and respect others.
• I can do it attitude and will at least give it a damn good try!
• Have and set goals.
• Positive attitude.
• Good eye contact.
• Look after your appearance, exercise, eat well, and take time for self as worth it! Etc.
• Feel good.
• Better performance.
• Enjoy life.
• Happy with who you are.
• Confident.
• Life just seems a better place to live.

Three types of low self-esteem.

• The Impostor – acts happy and successful, but really terrified of failure.  Lives in constant fear that she or he will be found out and needs continuous successes to maintain the mask of positive self-esteem, which may lead to problems with perfectionism, procrastination, competition and burnout.
• The Rebel – they act like the opinions or good will of others – especially people who are important or powerful – do not matter.  Lives with constant anger about not feeling ‘good enough’.  Continuously needs to prove that others judgements and criticisms do not hurt, which may lead to problems like blaming others excessively, breaking rules and laws, or fighting authority.
• The Loser- they act helpless and unable to cope with the world and waits for someone to come to the rescue.  Uses self-pity or indifference as a shield against fear of taking responsibility for changing his or her life.  Looks constantly to others for guidance, which can lead to such problems as lacking assertiveness skills, under-achievement and excessive reliance on others in relationships.

How are they linked?

They are linked in the way that self-concept is the mental, ideas and attitudes of who we think we are and this affects our self-esteem in the future.  The self-esteem is how we value ourselves and made up of the experiences of life and learned feelings.  It is the early stored experiences that determine how we value ourselves in the future, hence why it is so important to look at what self-concept is and how we as adults have such an affect on our children and how they will grow up in the future.

What can you do to improve your child’s self-esteem?

Factors affecting children’s self esteem.

·        How much the child feels wanted, appreciated and loved.

·        How your child sees himself, often built from what parents and those say.

·        His or her sense of achievement.

·        How the child relates to others.

Your child’s self esteem can be increased by you.

·        Appreciating your child.

·        Telling your child that you love them.

·        Spending time with your child.

·        Encouraging your child to make choices.

·        Fostering independence in your children.

·        Giving genuine importance to your child’s opinion and listening.

·        Feeding your child with positive encouragement.

·        Encouraging your child to try new and challenging activities.

·        Praise the child.

·        Mutual respect.

·        Help a child deal with failure in a positive way.

·        Help the child use words like ‘I am’, ‘I can do’, ‘I will’ etc.

·        Teach them it is better to try than never try.

·        Encourage them to do their own personal best that is good enough.

·        Build their trust.

·        Get them to tell the truth, even if it isn’t what someone will want to here.

·        Get them to look at you as you talk and practice active listening, taking turns to talk.

·        Display their work and their certificates; make a big deal in showing it to others.

·        Teach them to see the good in each other, look for the good rather than the bad in someone.

·         A little surprise gift now and again to say well done! Encourages them to keep trying.

·        Listen to your child.

·        Speak to your child respectfully.

·        Give them attention and hugs.

What causes low self-esteem?

·        Being harshly criticized.

·        Being yelled at or beaten.

·        Being ignored ridiculed or teased.

·        Being expected to be perfect all the time.

·        Experiencing failures in sport or at school.

Watch what you say to them!!

·        ‘Why can’t you be more like your sister’?

·        ‘Told you he couldn’t read’

·        ‘Knew he would be too scarred to go on that ride’.

·        ‘Wish you were clever like Toby’.

The list goes on and on!!

THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK!!

THINK HOW YOU WOULD LIKE IT SAID TO YOU, HOW WOULD YOU FEEL?

How can low self-esteem affect your child?

·        Their academic achievement.

·        Behaviour in school.

·        How they value themselves and others.

·        How they make and keep friends.

·        Trust.